Why one should eventually give up even non-ejaculatory sex

QUESTION: Hello Dhananjay,

Thanks for a very kind elaboration.

However, the ‘fprms of semen’ that you had explained still bothers me. Im a little confused.

The thing is, you said, having moderate non-ejaculatory sex is much better than with ejaculation. There is no energy lost, right?  This is assuming one follows a certain lifestyle such as regular meditation, exercise, etc.

On the otherhand, it is just a cut above the normal men than a celibate mode of life having also regular meditation, exercise, etc. in front.

So based on my understanding, no matter how deligent and expert the Tantric lover in the art of love, in mastering his seed, and no matter how  moderate ( let say once a month or once in two months) it is still inferior or far lower than the celibate in terms of spirituality.

How?

I thought what matters most is the preservation and cultivation of sexual energy in ones body. Also I presume that during non-ejaculatory sex, it is already a lost due to penile stimulation that result to prostrate, seminal vesicle and testicle’s secretions which somehow when not ejaculated during tantric session leaves the body through wet dreams, repetition of sexual urges until ejaculated, etc. Am I right?

For example, if we compare John and Kane. In which John practices 20 minutes Tantric intercourse w/o ejaculation once in two months and Kane is purely celibate. Who among them has better spiritual attainment if both of them ejaculate only once in three years for the purpose of progeny, if assuming both of them are regular in their meditation, exercise, etc..?

Hope you don’t mind. Thanks.

ANSWER: Hello there :-)

I’m doing good, trust things are great your side too… Thank you for the questions; let’s get to the answers,

Q: Who between John and Kane will get more spiritually enlightened?
A: While both might exhibit similar benefits initially further to the common factor called ‘non-ejaculation’, Kane will achieve concrete spiritual enlightenment in the long run.

Let’s analyze the rationale behind this statement.
Why does John want to indulge in non-ejaculatory sex? There are two reasons:
1.   He wants to conserve his seed and grow spiritually.
2.   But, he also wants to enjoy sensory pleasure derived from sexual contact.

These two objectives are contradictory and opposite. It is like wanting to eat the cake and have it too. We all know this is not possible. The objective of conserving one’s seed is for spiritual enlightenment, while the act of having sex is aimed at enjoyment of sensual pleasure. Sexual gratification, with or without ejaculation is earthly, sensory and ties man firmly to his delusive side. Unless carried out with the aim of begetting progeny, its purpose is wholly sensual.

A man trying to do both is taking one step ahead further to non-ejaculation and two steps back by increasing his familiarity with the imaginary pleasure derived from sexual contact. This will bind him more and more to his animalistic side and prevent ascension into the realm of spirituality. At most he may derive the benefits of celibacy at the physical level. At some stage, slavery for the want of sex sensation will result in his seed deserting him knowingly or unknowingly, wherein his spiritual progress comes back to square one.

Illusory sense pleasures and soul bliss are equally opposite and mutually exclusive like two sides of a coin. Can we look at both heads and tails at the same time? No. We can either see heads or tails. Viewing one side prevents the other from being seen. God has made these two in the same way. The man who associates himself with sense pleasures cannot fathom soul bliss and the man who knows soul bliss has no mind for sense pleasures. To the spiritually enlightened man who has tasted soul bliss, sense pleasures seem like stale, cold food. He has tasted fresh, piping hot food and can no longer stand the thought of spoilt food.

We are all souls in various stages of delusion, yet to taste soul bliss emanating from spiritual enlightenment. We have for long been conditioned into eating cold, stale food called sense pleasures, erringly assuming them to be tasty, for we know not fresh, hot food (soul bliss).

How can a man fed on cold, stale food since birth ever know the allure of fresh, piping hot food? Or will he ever go back to eating such spoilt food once he tastes heavenly food? No. It is here that perfecting celibacy to the full extent comes into play. Absolute celibacy becomes the ladder to reach the high state of soul bliss.

The prize called soul bliss which comes at the highest stage of spiritual enlightenment is a very coveted catch. Celibacy is the foundation on which all efforts at claiming this prize are based upon. God in fact places various obstacles and temptations in the path of the celibate, offering less coveted states which are achievable more easily as a test. He tests our commitment and intensity with various temptations. The sex temptation is the chief among them. While the less ardent celibate deviates from his path and settles for the less coveted states, thereby locking himself out of the kingdom of soul bliss, the true celibate gives up all forms of sense pleasures knowing very well the great prize waiting for him at the end and is amply rewarded with soul bliss and self-realization by god at the fruition of his efforts.

In order to achieve true spiritual enlightenment, it is mandatory to overcome the desire for sense pleasures of all kinds and forms. Sexual pleasure is the strongest among all sense pleasures. Unless one succeeds in killing the familiarity of the sex sensation, one cannot fathom the depth of soul bliss. Indulgence in the sex act, even without ejaculation will always keep this familiarity alive and well fed.
At the personal level, I will suggest a simple experiment you can try to get more convinced regarding the above elaboration. Lead a life of true celibacy in thought, word and deed (no sex, no ejaculation) for six months. At the end of these six months, revert to me with the difference in spiritual bearing that you find if any :-)

Hope this helps in the clearance of doubt. I wish you the very best towards spiritual enlightenment.
God bless and have a nice day
Dhananjay

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QUESTION: Thanks again Dhan,

I really appreciate it. It clears my mind now.

With God's grace, i'll do as what you had advised. Honest.

One more thing, from where are you and what ashram do you belong?

Also, can you share share some articles or any writings written by enlightened gurus that tackles about this inherent aspects of Tantric sexuality..

thanks.