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Brahmacharya and marriage

Dhananjay • 12/4/2011
Question

Sir,
In one of the answers you said brahmacharya removes past sins and do not add new karma how can a person who is married also do the same for moksha how can a married person get liberation in the single life time?

Answer

A married person wishing Moksha (liberation) through self-realization steps into the practice of Brahmacharya by gradually reducing the frequency of sexual contact with his wife which then helps the couple to completely stop all sexual contact in course of time. The purpose of the sexual act is procreation and not recreation. If this act is limited to its correct purpose (of producing an offspring or two) and the married couple slowly work at giving up all forms of sexual contact with each other after the birth of a child, they will very soon reach a state where it becomes possible to get established in a marriage based on Brahmacharya.

For such a pure relationship to develop between man and wife, one needs to develop a strong urge for self-realization with Bhakthi (devotion) and love for the Almighty. One should feel much longing and craving for realizing God. One should pray with tears of love to God, requesting him to show the path that helps one liberate oneself from this Samsara (trans-migratory existence). Then, if one's efforts, commitment and sincerity to achieve Brahmacharya are strong and genuine, the Great Lord extends his helping hand to make Brahmacharya get established, for Brahmacharya is impossible with human efforts alone.

If there is a strong inclination and effort from the side of the man to lead a pure and virtuous life that leads to self-realization through Brahmacharya and devotion to God, all things fall into place in course of time. There may be obstacles and impediments initially, but all these disappear when there is devotion and love for the Supreme. One's efforts should be consistent and unfailing. Then, the wife of such a man falls in line and will not be an impediment to his practice. She will co-operate and support him in his quest for God-realization.

Such a man and wife who limit sexual contact for progeny only and then resort to a divine and virtuous life of unbroken Brahmacharya in thought, word and deed with each other and with all other people derive as much benefit as would a Sannyasi (renunciate monk) in the path of spirituality and Godliness. They become very deserving and eligible for the state of Kaivalya (self-realization) and accrue much merit. Being married as householders does not in any way reduce their deservability. This has been very clearly mentioned in the Upanishads and scriptures without exception. It is the complete truth.

Lead a life of Yoga with the practice of Asana, Bandha, Pranayama and meditation. Strive to gradually reduce the frequency of sexual contact, then turn it into a non-ejaculatory relationship (refer past posts on what this is) and finally taper it away into nothing. Pray with devotion and sincerity to God requesting him to grant the strength to control the mind and the Indriya-s (senses). Within 6 months to a year of such honest efforts, it becomes very possible for both man and wife to get established in Brahmacharya completely.

Kindly go through each and every past answer and especially those where Brahmacharya in marriage has been detailed to get a better idea on how to proceed.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)  

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