Break after 6 months
Question
Hi, I was doing brahmacharya to the best of my ability for 6 months. Towards the end of the 6 months, I started to feel very ill. Nothing I ate satisified me and I felt like I was starving and dying. It was a very strange feeling. It felt horrible and like death. I was eating plenty and sleeping and everything, too. The only thing I had been doing differently was no sexual activity. I eventually broke and ejaculated myself. I felt instantly better and it felt like a numbness washing over me. I ask, Why did this happen and why could I not go longer with brahmacharya? Is this normal? Before, I had been a big sex addict, ejaculating everyday to porn. Am I still in the right direction? I think you mentioned it is common to have a streak of brahmacharya for 6 months then a break, then 1 year and a break, then 2 years and a break, etc.
Answer
Having or not having a break varies from person to person. Some go for years without a break, while others can't. As long as transmutation is complete with Brahmacharya in thought, word & deed, such issues don't arise. Feeling better after an ejaculation means there wasn't proper transmutation, and that the energy was stagnating below, without being sent up. He who transmutes right does not get the mind to ejaculate, for vital energy does not put the downward pressure.
Practice right with Sadhana and the mindset required.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)