Help from Yoga in facing the death of a loved one

QUESTION: Dear Brother, I have asked you queries several times and all your answers are read by me as gospel truth.As such, I request your help in this matter. I lost my father few days back. It has been a soul stirring incident for me. It has given me vairagya and taught me that in the end of the day, God's will happens. I hope you can answer me some questions related to spirituality.

I understand that death is to the body and not the souls, and that the jiva will be roaming after death.

1. Is there any form to the Jiva, can it be seen in any manner by the naked eyes?

2. How long will the jiva be in the house after death? Or rather, where will the jiva be after death? And what happens to the jiva after cremation of the body? Where will the jiva ultimately ends after death and this is after how many days from death?

3. For my community, we are supposed to fast for around 16 days and then at the 16th day we go to temple to offer atmasanthi poojai. Why 16 days? Is there any spiritual significance?

4. I was told that my prayer altar have to covered with no view of the deity and images and I am not supposed to go temple for 16 days. Will God consider us unclean if one's father passes away? Or does a family which has lost its loved one be deemed unclean to enter a temple?

5. Will taking a brahmacharya resolve and asking God to make my father's soul peaceful help, since Brahmacharya is the highest vow and nothing is above it.

Your answers will be deeply appreciated.

Thank you.

ANSWER: देहिनोस्मिन् यथादेहे कौमारं यौवनं जरा |
तथा देहान्तरप्राप्तिः धीरस्तत्र न मुह्यति ||

“Just as in this body, the Jiva (embodied soul) passes on from childhood to youth and into oldage,
It passes on into another body (through death and rebirth). The wise man does not grieve at it “.

-   Chapter 2/ Verse 13 – The Bhagavad Gita

1. It is the law of nature that, that which has come into existence should one day cease to be. It is only the Atman, the true 'I' (Lord) who has no birth and no death. Since this body has a beginning, it should also have an end. Being a part of this world, it is unreal. That which is unreal cannot last forever. The Atman or soul being the only reality, alone does not have a beginning and hence does not have an end. Just as the Atman within witnessed birth, childhood, youth and oldage of the body, he also witnesses death and then takes another body to continue evolution of the Jiva. It is truly a joyous occasion when someone dear passes away, for the Jiva has completed its innings in this body and is going to take another body under different circumstances to continue his evolution.

When a student completes his education and stops his academic study to take up an occupation and pursue a career, do the inmates in the family feel sad and greive? No. They are happy and wish him the best for his future. Being a student was one stage of life. That stage is now over; he has to move on. The same is the case with death of this body. The Jiva has finished its work in this body (based on its Prarabdha karma) and has no further scope to evolve here. The body and life experiences as regards this birth are done with and are over. For further evolution, it needs another body under different circumstances. Hence the Atman discards this covering of flesh and gets ready to take up another. One should not grieve or mourn at the time of someone’s death. One should wish the Jiva best of luck for its future journey and act in this direction. This is the only purpose of the after-rites performed on the body and later. All the rituals (starting with the cremation/funeral rites) are meant to help the Jiva move quickly into another body that will soon become ready for it in the womb of a woman who is destined to be its future mother. Just as the student was wished the best for his future journey through a career, it is an occasion of joy and well wishing where the Jiva is to be given a happy farewell.

The Jiva can neither be seen with the naked eyes, nor should one attempt to connect with it. Moaning, crying, wailing and other acts of sorrow become an impediment to the further journey of the Jiva. Soon after discarding the Sthula sharira (physical body), the Jiva will be in the Linga sharira (astral body) and Kârana Sharira (causal body) in a state of confusion. The Atman (Lord) pulled the desire-filled Jiva out of this body. It cannot understand what is happening. It is disoriented and hazy in understanding at this stage. It is called a ‘Preta’ (one who has gone to the other world). If people indulge in sorrowful reactions, the Jiva also adopts these emotions and wails for the separation from the people it lived with. Then the further journey becomes difficult. It might be forced to lament and stay here itself turning into a ‘Bhuta’ (estranged spirit or a ghost). If such a thing happens, then the life of the Jiva without a physical body, yet full of desires in the astral body becomes full of pain and sorrow. Hence one should not grieve. One should take the next appropriate action that will help it continue its journey into a new body. This is the correct course of action.

All the after-rites from cremation onwards with the relevant Mantra-s (incantations) are meant to serve this purpose. When all these are rightly performed with an attitude of love and a well wishing intention for the departed one, its journey becomes easy and smooth. It will go through the next process without trouble and becomes ready for rebirth, based on its past karma. This is the purpose of the after-rites.

2. The ‘Videha Jiva’ (Jiva without a physical body) stays around the place of death this way for a period of 11 days. On the 11th, 12th, 13th day, ceremonies are performed, where the required Mantra-s are chanted and rites carried out to help it proceed further. All these including the 16th day represent various stages in the progression to further. The related ceremonies are meant to help this progression. It then takes flight into the nether regions; a journey that lasts one full year. Based on the good or bad deeds committed while on Earth, it passes through much difficulty and pain in this journey. Those with good karma do not suffer much.  The rites carried out after death for one full year are meant to ease this journey. This is the importance of the after rites lasting one year. It then reaches the plane of Yama (Lord of death) where it is taken to trial for its karma. Those Jiva-s with positive karma enjoy in the heavens till that karma is spent and then return to Earth. Those with negative karma return after suffering in the hells. Those with mixed karma enjoy and suffer accordingly in these two places and finally come back to Earth in a new setting through rebirth, dictated by past karma. This is what the scriptures say.

3. Different communities practice this process of offering oblations and performing rites in different ways. The intentions however are the same. They are all meant to help the Jiva quickly progress in this journey and take up rebirth for evolution to continue. It is the good intention and respect for the departed one, shown through these ceremonies that matters. The means do not matter much. Fasting is only a symbol or sign of commitment and respect to indulge in the after-rites meant to help the Jiva proceed further. It does not have any other meaning. The common man always has his mind on the senses and enjoyment. When he fasts, his mind withdraws from the senses to a certain extent. This then helps him focus on the after-rites. It is a gesture for concentration and one pointedness. There is no further significance to this practice. If the process of well wishing can be carried out with love, without fasting, there is no need to fast. It is only a physical gesture.

5.  Most people become highly sorrowful and loose their mental equilibrium after the death of a near one. Their minds and bodies go out of control and they become high on negativity. A temple or the Pooja room with idols or photos of deities is a place of positive vibrations where people congregate to offer prayers and enrich themselves positively. People who are grieving and lamenting after death have a tendency to spread their negative vibration and may spoil the atmosphere at these places of worship. Hence they are abhorred from visiting these places. To a person who can maintain a state of equillibrium by taking death in the right spirit and wishes well for the departed soul, this rule need not apply. Such a person who is calm, controlled and wise can visit any temple even at such a time. It is only a general pointer for the public.

6. There is nothing unclean or unholy about death. This is a wrong apprehension that comes from ignorance. It comes from the people who do not posses ‘Gnyana' (knowledge of reality). Death is divine and an occasion of respect. It is the time of farewell and well wishing. Non one is unclean because of death in the family. It is a time when the concerened people should be left alone so they can concentrate on the after-rites with love and respect.

Ignorant people without true knowledge label death as impure and unholy.When God (the Atman) himself has decided to move the Jiva to another body, what business is it of ours to make foolish comments regarding this natural and divine occurring? God loves all souls equally and works for them. None are unclean. The Atman within is always pure. It is the Jiva who is subject to impurity due to his desires and even this Jiva merges into the Lord in the case of a sage who has attained to complete purity through self-realization. If one’s mind is full of Viveka (wisdom) and is untouched by this Maya (illusion) called Janana (birth) and Marana (death), going to a temple makes no difference at the time of birth, life or death in the family.

6. A life of unbroken Brahmacharya in thought, word and deed accompanied by honest and sincere Yoga (for self-realization), with devotion and surrender to the Almighty is the highest of all spiritual or religious practices. There is no path which is higher. Such action always gives the best results in any situation. It is such a Yogi alone who can see things clearly as they are and be untouched by happiness or sorrow. Such a Yogi alone considers “Sarvabhutâni âtmani” (all living beings as a part of his own self) and practices Ahimsa with true love for all beings. Such a one becomes capable of overcoming the false grief further to death. It will help one proceed rightly and do what is required as regards concentrating on the right action required at such a time. This is the best way of showing respect to the Lord and to one's parents.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)

[an error occurred while processing this directive]---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Brother,

I thank you for the effortful replies on the queries. I have some pressing queries on the points above:

1) For instance, the buddhist says hell and heaven are states of mind and not physical places? How true is this and what does hindu scriptures say? Are hell and heaven real places? Is there a figure called Yama?
And no matter what a sinner or puritan one is, is the period thru hell and heaven only one year?

For this one whole year, I was told I should do monthly atma santhi poojai for my father. Will this be enough? Is there anything more I should do?

2) Some people in the funeral mentioned we should cover the altar with a cloth stating, if the altar of god is opened, the jiva will be afraid to come inside the house. Is there any basis to this? Will the jiva without a body be afraid of deities and the poojai room in general?

3) After one year will the jiva automatically take birth? Cos from Swami Sivananda's article, I remember rebirth depends on karmas and last impression at death.

Thanks alot.

Om.

ANSWER: 1. Where do you experience the events that occur in a dream? Which is that world? A man can experience extreme happiness or torture in a dream lasting much of the night. Are they real places? Yes in terms of working of the mind and No in terms of the physical world. The dream world is the ‘Astral plane’. It is not physical in nature. It is a world made of thought and not matter. The Jiva is in the astral world when in a dream. It is not in the physical body. It is in the astral body, in the astral world. The state of the Jiva after death is similar, except that it can never return to its physical body. After death, the Jiva acquires what is called ‘Yâthana Sharira’ which is made of astral or mind matter. All these higher and lower planes of enjoyment (heaven) or suffering (hell) are astral planes. The Earthly plane is the only physical plane. All other planes are astral or causal in nature, while the 7th or final plane of the Parabrahman (Almighty) to which self-realized beings go is beyond physical, astral or causal, being 'Shunya' (void). Unlike what people assume, heaven and hell are not physical places with lands, rivers or oceans. They are states of mind of the Jiva without the body. Pain or pleasure in these astral planes is more pronounced than on Earth.

Where do these planes exist? They exist everywhere, beside my hand which is typing this answer, beside your face which is looking at the screen and at all other places. The mind can move anywhere, hence these planes exist everywhere. An ordinary man cannot experience or see these planes because they operate at a different frequency. It is exactly similar to the microwaves emitted and received by a cell phone. Waves of different mobile networks and service providers are all around us. Yet we do not feel them. Why? Because our mind is not at that frequency. These waves are carrying the voices of millions of people, right next to us, all around us. Yet we cannot hear anything. We can hear something, only when we ourselves receive a call and start speaking and hearing. We then hear because the mobile handset is at that particular frequency and receives those waves. In this way, there are different planes or worlds all around us, each at a different frequency. When we are on the frequency of Earth (awake), we cannot experience the astral plane of the dream. And when we are in the astral frequency of a dream, we do not know anything about Earth. The dreamer is not aware of his physical body or other Earthly objects. His body is frozen because the Jiva has left the physical body and is functioning in the astral body as long as he is in the dream while asleep. As soon as he wakes up, the Jiva comes back into the physical body.

Lord Yama is an entity (soul) who is assigned the task of a judge as regards pronouncing the verdicts of Earthlings. Yamaloka is another subtle plane, where this activity is carried out. One year is the general period that takes to reach Yamaloka, not heaven or hell. Heavens or hells are other planes to which the Jiva goes later, after Yama’s verdict. These are astral planes where pleasure or pains are extreme, much higher in degree to what one can experience on Earth with the limitation of the physical body. The duration of stay of the Jiva in heavens or hells can be as short as a few months or hundreds/thousands of Earth years, based on the karma, positive or negative. Imagine the pain you experience in the most frightening nightmare at night. It might last for a few minutes or an hour. That is a kind of hell. Now multiply that pain by a thousand times, lasting not a few minutes as in a dream but lasting hundreds or thousands of years. That will give an idea of what these hells (other worlds/planes of pain) are all about. This is how man suffers in the hells further to evil deeds on Earth.

Follow the rituals prescribed for a year with love, and respect for the departed soul. It will be sufficient and will make the soul’s journey easier.

2. Was the Jiva afraid of coming into the house when alive in a physical body? No. Then why will it be afraid of coming inside when in the astral body? This is the only difference to the Jiva after death, till it takes flight forever. Except for the fact that it has lost the physical body, there is no difference. The normal astral body dissolves after a few days and is replaced by another astral body (‘Yâthana Sharira’) as mentioned earlier. The Jiva can move very quickly in the astral body, many times faster than light. Its speed cannot be estimated or imagined by the human mind. It is pure imagination and foolishness to say the Jiva gets afraid or will feel safe if the altar is covered. Covering the altar is an act done on the physical plane with a cloth. How can it affect the Jiva who has left the physical plane and is in a subtle plane? Like a dreamer who does not know what is happening beside his bed, the departed Jiva is not aware of anything on the physical plane. It cannot make out if you are wearing a green shirt or a white shirt etc. It can only receive thought waves in the astral body. This is why one should wish it well and help it take flight quickly. It can receive the thoughts and feelings of those with whom it lived and reacts to these waves for 11 days. Hence such fanciful statements of covering the altar don’t hold meaning and are the result of ignorance.

3. The Jiva can take rebirth in a year, sometimes even before or sometimes hundreds or thousands of years later. It all depends on past karma, which decides where and to whom it will be born. Sometimes, it waits for its future parents to receive it (as they may not yet be married or destined for a child) at that point of time.

ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Brother, Thanks alot for your insights this far.

All these experiences has given me the vairagya to be even more serious in following my brahmacharya regime.

Pertaining to one's death,
1) Can I as a son do anything to prevent my father's soul from going to hell? Or help to reduce the pain and suffering of my father's jivatma?

2) If the jivatma is in the astral plane, there has been incidents where the death has come down and have spoken to loved ones. Not sure how true is this but I have heard it. How does these happen?

3) Some say I should keep my father's personal belongings. Some say I should throw them away. But I believe since my dad has become a jivatma, keeping it does not matter. Pls advise on this.

4) Can my father's altar be kept side by side with God's altar?

5) Also, we had offered coffee to my father for a past week. We have seen a decrease in the coffee level by about an inch atleast. What does this mean? Can the soul consume liquids?

Your advice will as ever be appreciated. Thank you.

Praboo