repeated faliures

Hello Sural,

Trust this finds you fine. Coming to your queries,

Q1: What makes a celibate slip, his knowledge of Brahmacharya not with holding?
A: What is the difference between a man who has a thorough knowledge of the map of a city and a man who knows the layout in the map further to having traversed through every road in the city personally? There is much difference between the two. While the first man is familiar with the theoretical aspects concerning the layout of the city, he has no practical knowledge on what it means to walk on these roads, where to turn and how to locate a place. To him the layout of the city represents nothing more than a few lines and diagrams on the map. He lacks the first hand, practical knowledge of actually moving around the city that comes from practical experience. He has never had a chance to get an actual 'feel' of what it means to travel across the city. The second man on the other hand has moved through every road and street and has factual knowledge of what distance really means. He is conversant with the directions at a realistic level further to having hands on experience in the actual deed of walking the streets. The directions to a particular place are ingrained in his mind further to true knowledge of the layout derived from first hand experience. Mere textual knowledge of a subject such as Brahmacharya is exactly similar. One cannot ingrain into oneself a life of Brahmacharya just by reading or listening to material on the subject. There is a vast difference between 'knowing a subject' and having 'realized the subject'. Depending on one's evolutionary level, effort and sincerity, it takes much time to realize and come to terms with practical knowledge of Brahmacharya. One has to personally go through the 'streets' and 'lanes' governing this divine science and evolve methods to tackle the dangers of lust and temptation lurking around the street corners. As the ability of the celibate to tackle these dangers grows, his success in Brahmacharya also correspondingly progresses.

Q2:Should a celibate try to conquer lust?
A: Is it possible to conquer heat emanating from fire and make the fire cool? Is it possible to conquer cold emanating from a block of ice and turn the ice hot? Is it possible for a man to dip his hands into water and not get wet? These are impossible things. They are impossible because trying to conquer them goes against the very basis of the reality of their nature & property. It is in the nature of fire radiate heat. It is in the nature of ice to radiate cold. It is in the nature of water to make things wet. Just as the concepts of heat, cold and wetness are properties existing in nature, lust and desire are also elements that exist in an ignorant mind. We cannot change the heat radiating property of fire; but we can negate heat by dousing the fire. We cannot change the cold radiating property of ice; but we can negate cold by sitting in a warm room. We cannot change the property of water to make things wet; but we can keep ourselves dry by not dipping our hands into water. In the same way lust cannot be conquered. It is a property, a tendency, and an element of ignorance akin to heat, cold and moisture. Just as dousing the fire removed heat, one can insulate oneself from the effects of lust by staying clear of thoughts, words and deeds that generate lust. In other words, one can safeguard oneself from the heat of the fire called lust by dousing the flame of ignorance with the extinguisher called knowledge.  The objective of the Brahmachari is not to conquer any element of nature but to establish himself in a state where he is unaffected by the presence or absence of these elements. He accomplishes this by gaining true knowledge of the self. He works to realize the truth that he is not the body, mind, intellect or consciousness but the pure, indivisible, unblemished, taintless and stainless 'Atman' or the 'soul'. Once this realization is achieved, it is irreversible. Nothing can make him revert to his earlier state of ignorance. Once there is no ignorance, there is no source for lust to manifest. But till it is accomplished, one has to stay clear of all sources that generate lust.

Q3: What is the reason behind periodic surfacing of lust?
A: All things in nature follow the law of duality. Night is followed by day, summer is followed by rains, good and evil co-exist, happiness is followed by sadness, ignorance and knowledge are two sides of the same coin. There is nothing in nature or 'prakruthi' that is unipolar. Everything follows the law of duality by being bi-polar. A man at the start of celibacy is also naturally bound by these laws as he is firmly anchored in the realm of 'prakruthi'/nature or the material manifestation of the universal consciousness through innumerable past actions and deeds. The tendencies formed by his past karmas surface every now and then and unsettle his decisions. His bonding to the laws of nature makes him roam in opposites. A kind man might be induced into a cruel deed during a moment of thoughtless emotion. A sane man might get instigated into an act of insanity. Similarly, a celibate who has vowed to never entertain lust again might forget all about his resolutions upon seeing an attractive member of the opposite sex. What does this demonstrate? It shows us that we are under the grip of ignorance when under the influence of emotions, particularly the negative kind. The way to freedom from these dualities of nature would hence be to rise above these bi-polar tendencies and establish oneself in the unipolar state of true knowledge and soul bliss through self-realization. Till then, one has to constantly persevere to stay clear of everything that can instigate deviation. With honest and determined effort, success will become more and more pronounced in course of time.

Q4: How should a Brahmachari deal with the aura of attraction created around him, especially as regards to the opposite sex?
A: The world we see is a reflection of our own mind. To a desirous and lustful man, the whole world is full of young, beautiful women. To an academician pursuing scholarly pursuits the very same world is full of books. To a mother nursing her new born infant, this world is nothing more than her child. It is our perspective and not people or situations that decide our course of thinking and action. When one constantly functions in the 'I-me-mine' ego plane, one loses track of reality and starts assuming oneself to be distinct from others. This further fuels the ego and kindles the entire gamut of negative emotions. Can a man be aware of his sexuality, attraction or looks when is deeply engrossed in reading a book or playing a sport? No. His entire mind, heart and soul are deeply involved in the activity and he loses track of who he is or how he looks during that period of serious involvement. Brahmacharya is to be approached in the same way. Why direct our thoughts into thinking how attractive or repulsive we are? Why spend our energy into pondering on how handsome or ugly we look to the opposite sex? The goal of the Brahmachari is to rise above ignorance and establish himself in his self. In what way are his attractiveness or ugliness connected with this goal? They have no connection. They are again nothing but offshoots of his latent lust and desire for the opposite sex. The desire and lust within him are making him look outward towards people with a similar perspective. Does he become aware of his sexuality/attractivenes in the presence of his mother or sister? No, because his perspective towards them is different. Developing a similar perspective towards other women, being engrossed with creative work, avoiding thinking about himself and ultimately viewing every living being as the soul and not the body is the key to get free from delusion.

It is always good to start a life of celibacy at the earliest and get on with life meaningfully. Teenage is the time when one's energy and vital power are abundant and virtually limitless. Embarking upon a life of Brahmacharya right from the onset of teens provides enormous benefits in each and every domain of life. The path to success would be not to get caught with the benefic effects/results that one gains from a short period of celibacy but to concentrate on the larger picture of succeeding in honest and true Brahmacharya of a life time following which man can own the real treasure of treasures called 'Realization of his self'.

God bless and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay