Why such a Paradox in Life
Question
Respected Dhananjay,
I am 31, and have failed to achieve things to my full potential in career and personal life. Consequently I remain unhappy and unsatisfied. As I analyse things around me and reflect on my past I find few paradoxes to the belief of Brahmacharya.
In school I was considered very timid in terms of knowledge of sex and allied topics, I was more of a kid till class 12 since most of my classmates had experienced physical intimacy with opposite genders by then.
Though I longed for a girl-friend but it was more for an emotional support than for physical interests. When I look back, all my batchmates, who would never even believe in an iota about Brahmacharya are the ones who are more successful in life today.
They always were good in studies than me. I fail to understand that if I was so naive about sex and hardly had any sexual thoughts hovering on my mind then , WHY WAS I WEAK in studies? Why I had always struggled to make it to be good in studies and they had breezed through. Were these due to my past Karma? My parents did everything for me, and I am so grateful to them but I could never repay back to them.
Even girls in my class (11th std) used to mention to me that I lack Manliness in terms of physical and emotional strength, and these thoughts have till today lingered on my mind.
Even today, I see my close friends, blatantly getting into extra-marital relationships, having sex with multiple partners, but they are the ones who are more happy and full of vigour than me, when I had tried to justify the cause and effect of such behaviour with them they laughed it off as immaterial. To be frank, they are the ones with better jobs, they are the ones with better partners, they are the ones with better skills in language, memory and sports. If you give us puzzles to solve they will come up with the solution first. They are the ones who keep more cool. Though they are the ones who always throw glances at women, they enjoy pornography. Sometimes I feel that the feeling of having everything done gives them mental power whereas I repent of not having done anything. Few don't believe in God, Karma and believe that this life has to be lived to the fullest.
The same facts I find in my workplace.
Why such Paradoxes Dhananjay?
Answer
1. Self-confidence, determination, an ability to succeed etc. are the result of past deeds from former births. Every child is born with a set group of qualities which increase or decrease based upon current actions. There are children who become chess grand masters at the age of 6 or 7. There are others who become excellent painters at the age of 4 or 5. How does this happen? Why cant all exhibit such powers? This phenomenon is nothing but the result of past efforts of the Jiva in these directions. It has already striven and reached a level of excellence in the particular field which makes the talent shine very early. There is nothing more to it. Similarly, a lack of self worth, timidness and inadequacy since childhood is also the effect of past karma. With proper efforts, one can negate and overcome the same in this birth to a large extent.
2. One lacking these should develop these qualities by reminding himself that he is the Atman who is all powerful and capable. Mere abstinence from interaction with the opposite gender with a contrary indulgence in self pity, inferiority and lack of self worth is not Brahmacharya. Real Brahmacharya involves developing confidence to the highest level by reminding oneself of his Godliness, impermanence of the world and staying calm and powerful by reminding oneself that this life is a drama enacted by the Lord where we are only actors.
3. During youth, the inherent power of veerya that has been conserved naturally and automatically till puberty shines in most people. Based on their individual nature and acquired abilities from past karma, this power shines in different ways. If Brahmacharya is properly practiced, such abilities can be further pronounced and highlighted. Loss of veerya will eventually lead to diminishing of all such abilities in course of time. Take a relook at the overall state of the people you describe by the time they reach mid-life. This is the truth.
Donot worry or get affected by such illusions of Maya. Every person is the medium of the Lord who is enacting his Leela from within. One need not be like another. Each Jiva is unique and special. If your friends exhibit certain strengths, there are other qualities within you waiting to be tapped that they lack. You can do this if you make up your mind. All this is the Lords Leela. Simply follow a life of Yoga & Brahmacharya with complete surrender to the Lord and much meditation. In course of time, you will know the purpose of your life and destiny.
ॐ तत् सत्
(That Supreme being is the absolute truth)