why can women manage celibacy better than men
Question
QUESTION: my wife is celibate through choice why can she manage it and i cant?;i find i need a sexual expression
ANSWER: Hello there,
Thank you for the query lets try and get to the answer,
Q: Are women more successful in the practice of celibacy?
A: When we get to the fundamentals and basics of what a living being is all about, we get to learn that an insect, bird, animal or man are all nothing but 'souls'. None of them are the body, mind, intellect or ego. If all living creatures are souls (The highest and purest form of universal consciousness which is beyond delusion) then why so much misery across the earth? The answer is that we are all veiled by numerous layers of 'Avidya' or ignorance. This ignorance which has cocooned itself in multiple layers around the soul, makes it forget its true, lofty and independent state of being self-content and makes it wander in search of 'apparent pleasure' which it erringly assumes to be present outside (through the senses). In reality, any pleasure got via external sources is temporary and lacking in substance. It will ultimately lead one back to the domain of pain.
A man or woman is nothing but the soul. The physical characteristics differentiating man and woman are only at the body level. The soul has no gender, age or type, it is just the soul. After death, when the physical body has ceased to exist, it becomes just the soul bereft of association with a male or female body.
The 'need' which one feels towards the sex sensation is nothing but deep rooted ignorance and trust in that which is untrue, unreal and illusory to be a source of pleasure. Constant association with untruth makes man believe it to be the truth.
The success of a man or lady in the practice of celibacy hence has nothing to do with their gender. Success in celibacy gets more pronounced as the percentage of delusive impurity within reduces. Addressing your case, it is very probable that your wife is in a state of better realization of reality at the innate level. Spiritual levels differ from person to person based on past karma and tendencies.
With sustained efforts and prayer to god, each and everyone of us can reach higher and higher states of purity, whereupon celibacy becomes effortless and natural.
Trust this throws light
God bless and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay
[an error occurred while processing this directive]---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: yes its beautiful light,living in that light every day ,i lapse sometimes,yes my wife is more advanced,i have more physical needs i think im more insecure,we only live this physical life once,and i feel im missing out,i know were reborn ,on asuperier plane,our planet is so full of physical temptations;apart from praying how can i resist them?
Answer
Hello Clifford :-)
Leading a life of purity and chastity is one of those paths which is tough and bereft of gloss at the initial stages, but leads to great bliss and serenity as one advances. The path of sensual pleasure is the quest for an illusory objective which is exciting at the initial stages only to desert one in great pain finally. Even the man who chooses the second path ultimately realizes he has been cheated by the so called exciting senses, and finally has to revert to the first path. There is no other way to eternal bliss. Why not save ourselves of trouble by listening to the voices of great masters who have written books of substance like the 'Bible' 'Qoraan' or the 'Bhagavad-Gita' ?
After all as Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Learn from the mistakes of others, you cannot live long enough to make them all yourself" - The smart man saves himself trouble by absorbing wisdom present all around him.
Life of the spiritual celibate might look drab and bland to the sensual man, but he will eventually realize one day that the celibate is in fact actually pursuing the short-cut to the land of eternal bliss, while he himself wasted time, energy and might in taking the attractive but dead end road to misery. And then, he has to travel all the way back to the crossroads once again and take the only true path to the land of bliss - The path of purity, godliness and virtue.
God has given man some great weapons to fight temptations. They are Intelligence, discrimination and contemplation. Used rightly, they tell us what is right and what is wrong. All that is required once we know this is an iron determination to implement the suggestion given by the soul through the above mentioned instruments. The soul is higher than all other faculties. Each and everyone of us can hear the voice of the soul if we set time time aside to sit quiet, contemplate and concentrate on divinity. This is what meditation is all about. The tool used to calm the mind and evacuate it of its modifications is 'Pranayama' or control of the vital energy achieved through regulated breathing. Practice these two after learning them from a knowledgeable source. Constant efforts ultimately bear fruit.
P.S: Also kindly go through past answers related transmutation of vital energy on this portal
God bless and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay