Life may be ending despite my sadhana

Dearest Dhananjay,

Please accept my greetings herewith.

I am an early twenties brahmachari who is facing an extremely significant issue and feels that I am close to death or inability to function whatsoever.

The issue: I have not willingly masturbated in several months. I had sadly sinned from the age of 12 beforehand until the age of 21 when I decided to put a full stop to such activities and pray to the almighty.

Now however I do get nocturnal emissions once every two weeks or so. I do pranayama, intellectual work, and physical yoga to engage the heart, body, and soul so semen should not flow out.

However, EVEN after a nocturnal emission, my body is RAVAGED. In particular, I have IBS-like symptoms where the stool doesn't empty fully, the rectum and anal canal burns, and the stool resembles tiny, thick, sticky pebbles.

I am not sinning. I am ever alert during the day time and vigilant. Yet, these nocturnal emissions have gradually all but destroyed my health. The nerves in the digestion system may not be working anymore. If a few more nocturnal emissions occur, that's it-my digestion will be shot in total. Over the last year, every nocturnal emission has made symptoms worse. The end seems near. Why the F*** is he doing this to me, an aspirant who is trying so hard?

High intelligence, work ethic, etc. don't matter when one has no prana left. It appears that death is fast approaching. If I were not a strong man I would sob right now. I am nearly in tears.

Medical doctors say there is nothing wrong, which further puts me in agony.

I have no place to come to but you. I prostrate myself at your feet and ask a simple question-Is there possibility of recovery, or is my karma SO bad that weakness and death are what he has given me in this life? I cannot go on like this.

Please help.
Manvanth