Doubts on brahmacharya
Question
I'm 25 years old. I'm trying to observe brahmacharya for 30 days and later to increase the duration for a year. I'm successful for 19 days. But today, the 20th day I accidentally saw porn in net. Due to this I watched porn. But, I didn't masturbate. My biggest question is "what should I do?"
My mind is telling me that "your brahmacharya viratha ended with watching porn. So you go on with masturbation. Enjoy it".
Do I have to start a start new viratha? Had my 19 days viratha wasted? How to number the days from tomorrow "1,2,3.. instead of 20, 21, 22 days of observing viradha" I feel very bad of breaking the viradha of 19 days by watching porn
Answer
Hello Prem,
Trust this finds you fine. Good to see your efforts at maintaining Brahmacharya. Coming to the answers,
A mistake made is history. We cannot alter the outcome of the committed action. Watching porn and fantasizing is no doubt a break in Brahmacharya. But by all means should you refrain from the physical act of masturbation. Carrying out the physical act will result in culmination of the mental break into completion. Voluntary loss of veerya from masturbation will act as the last nail on the coffin. Hence it is to be avoided at all costs.
Take a cold water bath, sit before an idol or photograph of your favorite God or even better, close your eyes and meditate on God asking him to give you the strength and determination required to carry on spotless Brahmacharya. Take a resolution on his name that henceforth, you will not watch porn on the net or elsewhere. Sit in Padmasana and chant 'OM', the representation of the Almighty for half an hour silently with the eyes closed and with absolute devotion. Our attitude towards God should be one of love, surrender and devotion. Remind yourself of the fact that you are not the body, mind, intellect, consciousness or ego. You are only the soul...The timeless, formless, untainted and eternally pure Atman and the Atman is nothing but an extension of the Almighty as a spark is an offshoot of the fire.
Let us ask ourself, How can the concept of body and sex apply to such a pure entity as the Atman? The idea of sex is itself false and an illusion. It is a trick of the mind based on the assumption of something unreal to be real. It is a result of 'Maya' that springs from ignorance. The best way to annul Maya is to overpower her with 'Vidya' or true knowledge. Knowledge that our real nature is purity, divinity and stainless. Knowledge that there is nothing called as a 'sexual need' in our true nature but is only a result of constant past indulgence and imagination. Knowledge that we are not the body or the mind but the ever free and pure Atman-- A derivative of the Paramatman. Just as we change our clothes when they get old, the Atman changes his body when it gets old and takes rebirth in a new body. So this body is an external covering similar to our clothing and not worth worrying much about.
Continue with the Brahmacharya vratha without any break. You have indulged in a visual and mental break by watching porn. Ensure that the break does not go to the final stage - physical. The prayer to God with sincere apologies for committing wrong and a promise to never repeat the act of watching porn should help you carry on with the Vrata if your repentance and love for God are genuine, heartfelt and sincere. Forget the mistake but always remember never to repeat it. With constant efforts at practicing absolute Brahmacharya based on sincerity and devotion, the period of success will become longer and longer.
God bless and have a nice day :-)
Dhananjay